How many times? How many darn times?

I've been at http://vacantfaces.livejournal.com for quite some time and I guess I may want to go there for now. But before that, I wanna say that I just came back from X29 camp (ystd) and when I reached home (around 4.30) I slept immediately all the way till this morning 930am. Except that I woke up twice by my brother's super loud laughter. I guess this camp was quite different  in the issues of my heart condition and people. (And I realise now that it's not up to me to decide if this was THE camp, but the camp's over anyway) There were alot of cup noodles and alot of cheers for every meal, but I lost my voice quite badly so I just did the actions to save the embarrassment(Kidding) we played pacman on the last night, now my legs are hurting like mad even walking kills. I hate to make empty promises but sometimes my words/current emotions got a better of what's gonna happen and I'll just go back and rack my brains on how not to break my promises. Other then that, I had alot of fun and I feel I don't need to care about whoever thinks, as long as I know what I'm doing and what my heart is really saying. Besides everything else that's happening in my life, I really do love Crescent cg and during this camp, I've been constantly reminded of how caring the CAREgroup is and how bonded we are by God. The days of Crescent cg were relived even though the people may be different, but the God element is still there. I always say I don't feel home when I went back to YHope but I guess that's just an outsider view and the camp really brought me closer back into the group. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm ready(all the time actl) but it seems like I'll never be ready at this rate, but God can move our hearts amen.

I promise to love and care for each and every one of you genuinely. (This isn't the promise which I feel I'll fail to keep, I really want to love all of you just as you are)